It’s like a Coalesce show in here

8 Mar , 2013  


Verb Phrase

1. A room full of “unattractive” people.
Ex:”High five on being the hottest people here.” “What?” “Look around, its like a Coalesce show in here.”

Origin: Hardcore doesn’t exactly bring out the models. Jess actually said these exact words while in a a room full of ugos.

Also see: MicroCenter 10

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Roy Biggins

10 Aug , 2012  

Roy Biggins


1. Being a big pile of shit/asshole.
Ex:“Nice work Roy Biggins. The wedding is off.”

Origin: J saw a giant pile of dog waste, and C quickly turned “that’s a biggin'” into “Roy Biggins.” Roy Biggins being the dick owner of a rival airline and pseudo bad guy in the television show Wings.

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Body Parts

Back Taters

24 Aug , 2011  



1. Fat that creeps around to ones back, creating back tits.
Ex: Ugh, gross, look at the back taters on that dude.

Origin: On a family campout, a relative was putting on a lifejacket and it smashed her together and created back tits. And taters was a way to not say tits in front of little kids. Put it all together, back taters.

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15 Jul , 2011  



1. A person who solicits relationships or sex from the extremely elderly.

Ex: Woah, Anna Nicole Smith was a total elderphile. Gross!

Origin: Kelsey S. (suspected elderphile) invented the term as a classier way to defend himself when we called him a Granny Raper.

See also: Granny Raper

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Body Parts,Regional

Dutch Butt

29 Jun , 2011  


Noun and possible Adjective

1. A phenomenon where older ladies (late 30s+) start having a bigger, flatter ass that seems to grow half way up their back, and partially down their leg.

Example: Woah! Check out the serious case of Dutch Butt on that blonde! It’s like her ass is consuming her back!

Origin: cloudy, but sources can be linked to Brian H. and his Brother-in-law Derek L. of Grand Rapids, Michigan (where a high concentration of Dutch descendent ladies happen to have big, tall, pancake asses.

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Human Body


5 Nov , 2009  



1. Hermaphrodite
Ex: “I heard Lady Gaga is a herm, but I’d still bang him/her.”

2. A guy who runs a record store in Grand Rapids Michigan.

Origin: Simple word shortening, nothing bananas.

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Officer BonerBender

27 Aug , 2009  

Boner Bender


1. A woman who’s ugliness insights a man to lose his erection (boner), instantly ruining whatever he had cooked up in his head.
Officer BonerBender over there is working her terrible magic with the jumpsuit.

2. Someone intent on ruining a wonderful evening in whatever way possible.
Ex: Nice job Officer BonerBender, you just got us kicked out of a bar..

Origin: Vice do’s and dont’s can I just say this column is consistantly hilarious

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Self Pleasure

Jocelyn Elders

18 Aug , 2009  


Verb or Noun

1. To jostle or shake someone.
Ex: Oh god, stop Jocelyn Eldersing me, I’ve got mad drama pipes.

2. Masturbation, or to call someone a masturbater.
Ex: Looks like you need to shave those palms Jocelyn Elders.

Origin: Jocelyn, jostling, jostlin’, pretty straight forward. As for the masturbation meaning, Elders was appointed by Bill Clinton to be United States Surgeon General. During her time in that position she probably most well know for (and made fun of constantly) for her statement made at a United Nations conference on AIDS about masturbation “I think that it is part of human sexuality, and perhaps it should be taught.” So Jocelyn Elders = spanking it.

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21 Mar , 2009  


Noun or Verb

1. To get fat or simply to be fat.
Ex: Man, Topanga got mad glandular those last couple seasons of Boy Meets World.

Origin: Jess actually just out of no where said the example used in the definition.

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