1. Hermaphrodite
Ex: “I heard Lady Gaga is a herm, but I’d still bang him/her.”

2. A guy who runs a record store in Grand Rapids Michigan.

Origin: Simple word shortening, nothing bananas.

1. Porno

Origin: Borrowed from the filthy mouth of Ms. Kelly P., and who know where she got it.

1. Facebook post where one tries to be funny but unintentionally comes off like a total dick.

2. Plant growing out of one’s face.

3. Plant that looks like someone’s face.

Origin: We’ve all seen it, some of us have even done it.

1. A woman who’s ugliness insights a man to instantly depress his erection (boner) instantly ruining whatever he had cooked up in his head.
Ex: Officer BonerBender over there is working her terrible magic with the jumpsuit.

2. Someone intent on ruining a wonderful evening in whatever way possible.

Ex: Nice job Officer BonerBender, you just got us kicked out of a bar..

Origin: Vice do’s and dont’s can I just say this column is consistantly hilarious

1. To jostle or shake someone.
Ex: Oh god, stop Jocelyn Eldersing me, I’ve got mad drama pipes.

2. Masturbation, or to call someone a masturbater.
Ex: Looks like you need to shave those palms Jocelyn Elders.

Origin: Jocelyn, jostling, jostlin’, pretty straight forward. As for the masturbation meaning, Elders was appointed by Bill Clinton to be United States Surgeon General. During her time in that position she probably most well know for (and made fun of constantly) for her statement made at a United Nations conference on AIDS about masturbation “I think that it is part of human sexuality, and perhaps it should be taught.” So Jocelyn Elders = spanking it.

1. Penetrating the ain. (Anal intercourse).
Ex: “Hey girl how do you feel about me coloring the nut brown tonight?” “I feeling like that isn’t happening.”

2. Wiping after deification and getting poo on you testicles.
Ex: “Ahh fuck! I just colored the nut brown. Damnit.”

Origin: The phrase is taken from amazing individual names Rusty Tons. Trying to explian Rusty via the internet just won’t work. Ask us in person and we’ll give the full awesome story. As for the meanings of the phrases above, brown = poop, nut = testicles/semen. Not exactly complicated stuff.

Submitted by: Charbuckles

1. Morning coitus. Specifically, morning coitus with someone with red hair, real red hair, both upstairs and down.

Origin: Lifted by Charbuckles from a Fleet Foxes song.

Submitted by: Charbuckles

1. “I am going to.”
Ex: Ima dance all over that architecture.

Origin: Its a carry over from doing hick/country/Indiana accents and voices.

1. Stomach/intestinal problems.
Ex: Oh god where is the pepto, I’ve got all kinds of drama pipes.

2. Pipes used to carry drama from one area to another.

3. Pipes constructed of drama.

Origin: Borrowed from Achewood.

Pronounced like aim, but with a “n”.

1. Anus
Ex: Be a little more Warden Gentles with your architecture this time? Girl I’d be more worried about that ain.

Origin: None really. Its just a shortening of the word anus.

1. Ridiculous or stupid.
Ex: This guy is “fit but he knows it” which is kind of endearing on hot chicks but looks chronicles of ridic on dudes.

Origin: Intitally Borrowed from Vice. But its not hard to put together a phrase that means ridiculous or stupid and a Vin Diesel movie.

1. A exclamation of joy.
Ex: I’m not preggers! Ahh yeah miss new booty!*

2. Song by Bubba Sparxxx

Click here to view the embedded video.

Origin: There isn’t really one. Its just entertaining to say and the video is great.

*There has been no pregnancy scares at Hecktionary HQ, but not having a baby seems like good news.

1. Delivering bad news while performing a hand-job.
Ex: “How did he take the break up?” “Pretty well, I let him down gently.”

2. Slowly and carefully lowering a person from a great height.

Origin: Jess said: “I guess I’ll have to let him down gently then…” Chris said: “So you’ll tell him while giving him a hand job?” This origin really isn’t doing the phrase any justice at all.

1. One person rubbing another person’s genitals through their jeans.
Ex: “You want to give me what? A jean job? Oh yeah that sounds great I’d love to have a raw and chapped dick.”
Ex 2: Jeanjob.com

2. Employment with Levi’s.

Origin: Jess hand her hand on Chris’s lap and Adam R. blurted out “are you giving him a jean job?”.

1. Sex.
Ex: I’ve been on your porch knock for like 20 minutes where the hell were you? We were upstairs fixing the air conditioner.

2. Being late on the account of having sex

3. Actually fixing problems with a air conditioning unit.

Origin: Derek and Becky were sexing it up when people showed up to their house. After a few minutes of knocking (on the door) they appeared, and Becky shouted “we were upstairs fixing the air conditioner”.