Noun

1. Porno

Origin: Borrowed from the filthy mouth of Ms. Kelly P., and who know where she got it.

Noun

1. A woman who’s ugliness insights a man to instantly depress his erection (boner) instantly ruining whatever he had cooked up in his head.
Ex: Officer BonerBender over there is working her terrible magic with the jumpsuit.

2. Someone intent on ruining a wonderful evening in whatever way possible.

Ex: Nice job Officer BonerBender, you just got us kicked out of a bar..

Origin: Vice do’s and dont’s can I just say this column is consistantly hilarious

Verb or Noun

1. To jostle or shake someone.
Ex: Oh god, stop Jocelyn Eldersing me, I’ve got mad drama pipes.

2. Masturbation, or to call someone a masturbater.
Ex: Looks like you need to shave those palms Jocelyn Elders.

Origin: Jocelyn, jostling, jostlin’, pretty straight forward. As for the masturbation meaning, Elders was appointed by Bill Clinton to be United States Surgeon General. During her time in that position she probably most well know for (and made fun of constantly) for her statement made at a United Nations conference on AIDS about masturbation “I think that it is part of human sexuality, and perhaps it should be taught.” So Jocelyn Elders = spanking it.

Verb

1. Delivering bad news while performing a hand-job.
Ex: “How did he take the break up?” “Pretty well, I let him down gently.”

2. Slowly and carefully lowering a person from a great height.

Origin: Jess said: “I guess I’ll have to let him down gently then…” Chris said: “So you’ll tell him while giving him a hand job?” This origin really isn’t doing the phrase any justice at all.

Noun or Verb

1. One person rubbing another person’s genitals through their jeans.
Ex: “You want to give me what? A jean job? Oh yeah that sounds great I’d love to have a raw and chapped dick.”
Ex 2: Jeanjob.com

2. Employment with Levi’s.

Origin: Jess hand her hand on Chris’s lap and Adam R. blurted out “are you giving him a jean job?”.

Noun

1. A whore or slut
Ex: Look at that ho-ma over there. I better her breath smells like penis.

Origin: Borrowed from the Upright Citizens Brigade tv show, one of the best sketch shows ever.

Noun
Sounds like: beige

1. Short for Asian
Ex: All aiesh lady have side-ways architecture.

Origin: Not totally sure, it just kind of became a thing. Though it is much more likey to be linked to race related jokes than it is to simple word shortening.

Adjective

1. Screwed up/messed up.
Ex: The economy is pretty dicked up right now.

Origin: Not totally sure

Noun

1. Coward
Ex: Go on, dance on the architecture already you ball drinker.

2. A falatious individual (?)

Origin: Chris and Adam R. nonsense. Attempting to recreate the conversation that created this phrase here would be impossible and very inappropriate.

Verb Phrase

1. Oral copulation performed on a female.
Ex: Why don’t we go back to the bedroom and you can dance on the architecture.

2. Dancing on a building in some manner as Lionel Richie would.

Origin: Borrowed and repurposed from the Gaslight Anthem song Casanova, Baby! from the album The ‘59 Sound.