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5 Nov 2009

Herm

Author: Chris | Filed under: Insult, Phenomenon, Unnecessary Word shortening

Noun

1. Hermaphrodite
Ex: “I heard Lady Gaga is a herm, but I’d still bang him/her.”

2. A guy who runs a record store in Grand Rapids Michigan.

Origin: Simple word shortening, nothing bananas.

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3 Nov 2009

Cockumentary

Author: Chris | Filed under: Borrowed, Dirty, Inappropriate

Noun

1. Porno

Origin: Borrowed from the filthy mouth of Ms. Kelly P., and who know where she got it.

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1 Nov 2009

Faceplant

Author: Chris | Filed under: Borderline insult, Internet

Noun

1. Facebook post where one tries to be funny but unintentionally comes off like a total dick.

2. Plant growing out of one’s face.

3. Plant that looks like someone’s face.

Origin: We’ve all seen it, some of us have even done it.

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27 Aug 2009

Officer BonerBender

Author: Jess | Filed under: Inappropriate, Insult, Vice

Noun

1. A woman who’s ugliness insights a man to instantly depress his erection (boner) instantly ruining whatever he had cooked up in his head.
Ex:
Officer BonerBender over there is working her terrible magic with the jumpsuit.

2. Someone intent on ruining a wonderful evening in whatever way possible.

Ex: Nice job Officer BonerBender, you just got us kicked out of a bar..

Origin: Vice do’s and dont’s can I just say this column is consistantly hilarious

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18 Aug 2009

Jocelyn Elders

Author: Chris | Filed under: Dirty, Inappropriate, Insult

Verb or Noun

1. To jostle or shake someone.
Ex: Oh god, stop Jocelyn Eldersing me, I’ve got mad drama pipes.

2. Masturbation, or to call someone a masturbater.
Ex: Looks like you need to shave those palms Jocelyn Elders.

Origin: Jocelyn, jostling, jostlin’, pretty straight forward. As for the masturbation meaning, Elders was appointed by Bill Clinton to be United States Surgeon General. During her time in that position she probably most well know for (and made fun of constantly) for her statement made at a United Nations conference on AIDS about masturbation “I think that it is part of human sexuality, and perhaps it should be taught.” So Jocelyn Elders = spanking it.

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10 Aug 2009

Color The Nut Brown

Author: Chris | Filed under: Dirty, Submitted

Verb

1. Penetrating the ain. (Anal intercourse).
Ex: “Hey girl how do you feel about me coloring the nut brown tonight?” “I feeling like that isn’t happening.”

2. Wiping after deification and getting poo on you testicles.
Ex: “Ahh fuck! I just colored the nut brown. Damnit.”

Origin: The phrase is taken from amazing individual names Rusty Tons. Trying to explian Rusty via the internet just won’t work. Ask us in person and we’ll give the full awesome story. As for the meanings of the phrases above, brown = poop, nut = testicles/semen. Not exactly complicated stuff.

Submitted by: Charbuckles

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7 Aug 2009

Red Squirrel In The Morning

Author: Chris | Filed under: Borrowed, Dirty, Submitted

Noun

1. Morning coitus. Specifically, morning coitus with someone with red hair, real red hair, both upstairs and down.

Origin: Lifted by Charbuckles from a Fleet Foxes song.

Submitted by: Charbuckles

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16 Jul 2009

Ima

Author: Chris | Filed under: Silly, Stupid, Unnecessary Word shortening

Verb

1. “I am going to.”
Ex: Ima dance all over that architecture.

Origin: Its a carry over from doing hick/country/Indiana accents and voices.

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10 Jul 2009

Drama Pipes

Author: Chris | Filed under: Achewood, Borrowed, Phenomenon

Noun

1. Stomach/intestinal problems.
Ex: Oh god where is the pepto, I’ve got all kinds of drama pipes.

2. Pipes used to carry drama from one area to another.

3. Pipes constructed of drama.

Origin: Borrowed from Achewood.

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9 Jul 2009

Ain

Author: Chris | Filed under: Unnecessary Word shortening

Noun

Pronounced like aim, but with a “n”.

1. Anus
Ex: Be a little more Warden Gentles with your architecture this time? Girl I’d be more worried about that ain.

Origin: None really. Its just a shortening of the word anus.

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